So as I sit here feeling sorry for myself because Im ill and cant breath I cant help but think GET OVER IT HARRIS!

I mean it is the anniversary of The famous Titanic sinking and taking with it over 1500 souls. I can not begin to imagine how horrific it was. I do not quite know why but I feel like I have a proper connection with the event, (sounds stupid, I get that) but I cant stop reading about it and watching documentaries. Oh and I have a book! I suppose however much I read about it I will never know exactly what happened on the ship that night. Cant help but think what I would do if I was on the ship that night, I know for sure I’d be a 3rd class passenger in steerage so would have no hope of getting in a life boat…. I’d be tempted to jump in the water and swim out to a lifeboat whether they’d let me on or not is a different story. And whether I’d survive the icy water or not… I would like to think that I wouldn’t hide in a corner and give up, go down fighting! wooooooooooooooooo got a bit deep and dreary then… 

Anyway what I mean by it all is that worse things have happened than a cold, so I should stop moaning.

On a positive note, Leonardo Dicaprio is gorgeous and I forgot this until I watched Titanic again, and he looks even hotter in 3D. 

Minds gone blank at the moment, there is something quite deep and important to me that I want to write on here though, but I feel it needs its own post in itself, so I will come back to write another time. 

So goodnight everyone, or anyone whos just wasted 30 seconds of their life to read this :) 

Seeya

Can a human being actually accomplish this act? Forgive and forget… Im sure a lot of people can forgive (or like to think so), however I am almost positive most people can not forget! It’s a saying that is thrown about quite loosely really, ” my best friend really fucked me over, we’ve spoken about it decided our friendship is too strong to break up so you know forgive and forget” (I made that up my best friend would never do that to me). However I can think of many times in my life where I have had to forget stuff… FORGET yes but forgive? ..not so much. I find it hard to forgive someone fully for causing me hurt and pain, but then i suppose everyone is differnt. It’s one of those things Isn’t it where you tell yourself you forgive that person however when it suits you you can bring it all up again… So on both accounts you do not forgive or forget! Ha I suppose what I’m trying to do is get around these feelings in my head.. What happens if you do forgive and forget but all your morals and principles tell you not too? Does that make you a pushover? Weak? Pathetic? Or simply wanting to hold onto something good amongst all the bad? Maybe you dont ever fully forgive and forget, but in life you have to end one chapter to start a new one. You can always have a cheeky nose at the previous chapter and flick through the good the bad and the ugly because let’s be honest we can never forget them. Forgive.. Well I think it can depend on the individual. However I’m gonna put it out there, I don’t think anyone can fully forgive (except god if that is your belief). Let’s face it to be able to fully “forgive and forget” youve gotta be someone pretty special!

Women …

Its been a while since I’ve written a load of drivel and bored the life out or whoever chooses to read this.. (if anyone does) so here it goes….

Whats on my mind at the moment…. too much. but I’d say good stuff to be honest, things might be looking up :) Apart from the fact I don’t have any money, a job and apparently unemployable (trying not to believe this) hahahaha im kinder lucky my mum and dad arent pressuring me about getting a job, and constantly nagging at me about getting one. They understand that the dream job isnt gona come along straight away I mean this is reality. So im not thinking about it. JOBS CAN SUCK IT FOR NOW  :D 

what else is good, ahhh yes the fact that i am going on holiday :DDDD and yes I bet you are thinking how the hell is she going on holiday with no money and no job.. well Lets just say im not totally skint … I am going to Nerja, no its not the clubbing capital of Spain but im really not fussed about getting fucked up and clubbing every night. Could say im old or boring but sitting in the sun for 2 weeks with my best mate doing fuck all sounds like a dream !!!! Gutted ive got to wait 2 months but cheap flights dont come easy! and I suppose ive got a busy few months and a few little surprises as well which is wicked!! including graduation and my birthday. Graduation wow… as if uni has been and gone, the best few years of my life so far ending… sucks really. But I will never EVER forget or lose contact with the most amazing people that I met there :D (little shout out to the uni peeps ) :) 

turning 21… im not that excited at the moment to be honest, I dont no whether thats because im not doing anything and the fact I cant drink… so not exactly gonnna be celebrating in style… hmmmm sour note… I should be able to make up for it when I turn 22 :) haha that will be my big one. !! 

-Just a side note. Im loving life with my friends at the moment, I love how close we all are and the fact we have managed to survive 3 years of a kinder on off friendships, we are a strong crewdem… :) Definite friends for life. 

Maybe I might find that special someone this year… someone that makes things feel right and treats me like a princess? okay so I dont live in a fairytale, but a girl can dream cant she?!?!?! Surely ive gotta find someone that wont fuck me over? The whole ‘its all about the chase’ thing is true for men and women but it majorly sucks!!! Getting over someone is too hard, you think you might actually be at the point where its like ‘SEEEEEYA’ then BOOM something happens .. the shittest cycle ive ever been a part of. ah fuck who gives a shit only live once right? 

However do i deserve it? 

ahhhhhh 

anyway …

My life is gonna change sooo much you dont even no! but im so excited and I realise that I might finally be happy… cringe but true. this time next year I wont be a different person but an improved version of ME! This excites meeeeeeeeeeeeeee yayyyyyyyy 

Bring on the year to come, I have the most amazing feeling that its gonna be a gooden 

love 

oh and world peace 

xxxx

My life seems to have changed so much in the last few weeks… I’m not gonna tell you all how because I don’t have too hahahahahahahaha

It seems to be spiralling out of control to be honest, (that might be an exaggeration but it’s how it feels) can it be spiralling out of control but in a good way? In sure everything will turn out for the best in the end. Just seems like a lot of effort to get there. No ones fault but my own I suppose! Ah well life sucks don’t it!

I’m just sitting in my living room on my own in the arm chair thinking ‘I don’t want to move’ I have no energy, my back hurts and I’m comfy… Oh the laziness! Can’t wait to snuggle in bed tonight and sleeeep ready for a new day :)

London tomorrow with the parents will be delightful !! Can’t wait for Phantom of the Opera :) I WILL be blown away … I will report back with my verdict,

Looking forward with what’s to come in the future … All good I hope :)

Everything happens for a reason….

She is a legend, theres not doubt about that. ! erm ye that is all, just writing this so she can find me and follow me hhahahahaa !! 

x

Some people may say im overreacting and blah blah blah but lets be honest WHO GIVES A FUCKING SHITTTTTTTT let me write what i wanna fucking write and if you dont wanna see it, you no what you have to do DONT READ IT 

when i feel like shit i feel like shit, let me cry, shout, slam doors, sulk, moan and shout until i real better please. 

ok. thank. bye